• Ruslan

What do (n't) you own?

⛈ There was a thunderstorm.⠀

The rain was falling on saggy branches and then hitting the ground. The lightning was flashing so hard that it was causing the pupils of my eyes to narrow and expand like there was a drug flowing through my veins. Thunderclaps were completing the entire orchestra with its decisive bass, returning me to reality.⠀

😢 I was letting go of something that I never had, but that was dear to me.⠀

👨🏻 My father always says that I need to have something: ”Where is your car, where is your family, where is your house?” I know that he only wants the best for me and that it is so “normal,” at least in the society in which I grew up. Moreover, inside myself, I feel these genes that say that I would like to possess, to have something. But I don’t understand it. I don’t see my car; I don’t see my house. I don’t see my family. I guess I had to let go too much in my life that now I no longer want to have anything.⠀

💡 When you have nothing, there is nothing to lose.⠀

⚓️ All these things, persuasions, obligations - they are like anchors, like sandbags preventing you from flying. I knew this, but I could not fully accept it. I could not petrify my heart, adapting myself to this world.⠀

🌫 I was sitting not feeling any pain. I was not disappointed. I felt calm and peaceful ... sadness. I was trying to accept reality as it was.⠀

😢 I was letting go of something that I never had, but that was dear to me.⠀

©2017 BY RUSLAN KARIMOV